Can You Bring Kids to Restaurants?
Find out which restaurants are appropriate for kids and what to do when faced with a tantrum. Modern Manners Guy is on the case
Richie Frieman
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Can You Bring Kids to Restaurants?
As a diner and parent, I’ve been on both sides of the “Can you take children to restaurants?” issue. And having been on both sides, I’ve had the luxury to see both sets of arguments very clearly. So, can you bring kids to restaurants? Of course! How else will they learn proper manners in public? It’s like etiquette boot camp for them. Just like riding a bike — after a few mishaps, they will learn to pedal correctly (and not ride into the bushes). Over time children will realize meatballs are much better for eating than for tossing clear across the room.
But how can you know which restaurants are appropriate for your children and what to do when your night out is ruined by an unruly kid? Read on to find out.
Which Restaurants are Appropriate for Children?
When bringing children to restaurants, first realize that there are only so many you should be choosing from in the first place. If you are expecting to bring a child to Nobu or Ruth’s Chris, think again. Think about those restaurants that provide a child-friendly ambience. I’m not saying you should just limit yourselves to only places that have slides or ball pits. Anyplace that provides crayons and paper placemats, or an open kitchen where the kids can watch (and learn how) the food is being prepared would be appropriate.
To avoid causing a scene and inviting the glares of other diners, put yourself in your child’s shoes and see it from their eyes. What would they like to eat? Where would they like to go? What interests them? When you think of the situation this way, your outlook on which restaurant to choose will change drastically.
Here are a few Quick and Dirty Tips to help you and your kids have a successful and enjoyable dining experience—and avoid ruining the dining experience of others:
Tip #1: Avoid Restaurants with Long Waits
Even if you have a reservation, some restaurants still make you wait to be seated. When dining with kids, err on the side of caution and dine at places that you know can seat you relatively quick. It is very hard to explain to a child — and have them accept your reasoning — that it’s not time to eat yet. Kids think in the “now” so look for a place that understands this and you’ll avoid a scene.
Tip #2: Time Your Dinner Correctly
Don’t think you are going to visit a restaurant at the hip, hot hours when most people go out. Always go earlier. You’ll get a better table, beat the rush, and even if your child has an outburst, you’ll be bothering a much smaller amount of people. And if you have a baby, you can try to time it when they nap, which might give you a very peaceful meal as they sleep in their stroller next to you…a rarity!
Tip #3: Provide Your Own Entertainment
When I say this, I do not mean allowing a child to have a loud toy or electronic device that inhibits others from enjoying their meal. However, something to keep them calm doesn’t hurt. Even a mini DVD player with their favorite show is acceptable. Slowly over time you will wean them off of this, but when kids are young, a DVD player may save you. Just make sure it’s not loud enough to bother anyone else.
What to Do When Kids at Restaurants Bother You
To prove I am not completely biased as a parent, let’s focus on what to do if you are not the one bringing the child to a restaurant, but rather the one having to sit next to a screaming kid while trying to enjoy a nice meal.
When you see a child cry, scream, or throw a tantrum so intense you immediately want to run out to buy condoms, the proper way to handle this is to first realize it’s a part of life. It’s very loud and annoying, but still very common. The parents do not want their kids to act this way and the kids themselves would probably rather not be there. However, unlike you, they can’t control their emotions.
When dealing with an unruly child in public, the most proper way to handle it is to — drum roll, please… not say anything at all.
“But Modern Manners Guy, they are disturbing my meal! I paid to be here too!”
I know. You bring up a good point, but you cannot reason with a child. It’s not your place. And dealing with an adult who is probably stressed out because they know everyone is staring will never work out either. Chances are you will be the one everyone is staring at when the frazzled parent shouts right back at you.
This rule does have a caveat though: if a child comes in contact with you — by way of food or hands — you are then allowed to approach the parent. Doing so with manners and etiquette is key. You don’t want to pull out your best Bobby Knight impression and toss their chair across the room. Give them a simple nod, and they will get it.
However, if suppressing your desire to scream to the high heavens after seeing a child act so incredibly inappropriately at a restaurant is too much to ask, there is another option — simply move your seat. Don’t feel bad about it. Managers are used to that request and see it all the time. You can even hide your reasoning for moving if you like. Blame it on being “too cold,” “too close to the door,” “under the vent” — pick your poison. Who knows, you might even start a revolution and lead a pack of people into the promised land of peace and quiet.
Do you have a story about your children or dealing with children in restaurants? Post them on my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page so we can all have a good laugh with you. As always if you have another manners question, I’m look forward to hearing from you so drop me a line any time at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Also, follow me on Twitter with daily updated on manners @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips.
Thanks again for reading Modern Manners Guy’s quick and dirty tips for a more polite life.
Kids in restaurant and tantrum images courtesy of Shutterstock.