Etiquette of Restaurant Complaining, Part 2
What to do when service isn’t really service.
Trent Armstrong
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Etiquette of Restaurant Complaining, Part 2
If you’ll remember waaaay back to episode #75 “Restaurant Complaining Done Right“– though I can’t help but think in retrospect, it should have been called “Restaurant Complaining, Well Done”– I discussed the manners of complaining in a restaurant when you are served an unsatisfactory dish. Well, at long last the day has come for us to tackle the customer service scenario. What do you do when your service just hasn’t been up to snuff?
When Restaurant Service is Unacceptable
Often our service is acceptable, but at times we–as customers–find ourselves in a situation where another person’s best efforts are just not good enough, and we have no choice but to bring it to their or someone else’s attention. For these scenarios, let’s revisit the restaurant– since, after all, your Modern Manners Guy does like to eat and the restaurant is a great model of social systems at work where manners are concerned. I’ll tell you how to handle a bunch of different restaurant service situations.
Always Pay a Compliment for Good Service
When in a typical “sit-down” restaurant, you the customer will be waited on by a server– generally an affable sort, or someone with the good sense to pretend as much so as to achieve the maximum tip at the end of service. Many times their affability is combined with a level of competence that helps to create a pleasurable dining experience. In this scenario, I believe it is important to let the manager know that she has an all-star on her team. It will make you and the manger feel good and it will make the server feel great– please don’t forget to tip!
How to Handle a Competent But Aloof Server
Other times you may run across a waiter who– though competent– is in the midst of a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and your pleasure is low on his check list. These people can generally pull off an acceptable service experience, despite being indifferent to how they come across. I believe it is unnecessary to contact the manager if you’ve had a mostly pleasant dining experience– everyone has an off day. Imagine if your worst day at work was made worse by the fact that someone had “told on you” to the boss. Granted, there really isn’t any excuse for doing one’s job poorly, but let’s face it, sometimes it happens.
How to Handle a Friendly But Incompetent Waiter
There is the possibility that you will have a waiter who is as pleasant as can be but–try as he might–the poor soul really has no business being in a waiter. This fella deserves as much patience as you can muster because he clearly does care about you and your service, but he simply isn’t good at the job. There may be several causes for this: foremost, the person may be new and has not yet grown into the position. Having worked in the business, I know that it takes a little time to catch the rhythm in a restaurant– some very good servers start off rocky. Or maybe, as mentioned above, this person is having an off day, but simply isn’t letting it get him down. But lastly, this person may just be bad at the job. If this is the case–I assure you–the manager knows and this person is probably on his way out. My advice is to just be as helpful as you can when you think the server may have missed something. For example say something like, “Did I order French fries, because I think I may have said rice.” Even though you know you ordered fries, you’re just not certain he knows. If despite your best effort, your experience is still middling to poor (maybe the food wasn’t good either) let the waiter know and give him an opportunity to fix it since that is only fair. Clearly the waiter is willing to try to make your experience pleasant, so give him some directions on how to get there.
Note: Feel free to pat yourself on the back after a service like this, you’re a real humanitarian.
When the Restaurant Worker is Aloof and Incompetent
What if your waiter is aloof and incompetent? Well, this guy, this guy or girl is our guest of honor. This person is an individual who isn’t good at the job and frankly, doesn’t care a whit. In a restaurant, this is frequently a person who isn’t necessarily surly, but clearly doesn’t take the job seriously. For example: the hostess who is talking on the phone with a friend when you arrive and doesn’t hang up before you get to the hostess stand. The waiter who makes no effort to remember what anyone has to drink or who ordered what food when it arrives at the table. Or the waiter who takes down the wrong orders and argues that you must have asked for French fries because that’s what he wrote down. And there’s also the waiter who delivers food and is never heard from again. The list, as you know, goes on and on. What do we do with this guy?
Well, here goes… ask to speak to a manager. There is no point in trying to resolve any problem that you have as a customer with this server because he has made it more than clear that he.does.not.care– then he patented it.
When you get the manager’s attention, let him or her know that you’ve been unimpressed with the server’s performance. As with all complaints, be polite and be specific, “He came over and took our glasses to refill our drinks, and next thing we know, he’s sitting at that table over there speaking with those girls. We still haven’t gotten our drinks and we’re not terribly happy about it.” Also, have an appropriate remedy ready should the manager ask you what you want done about it. For instance, “I’d rather not pay for a drink that took so long to get to me.” Remember, however, that it’s important not to abuse the system. Don’t ask for the keys to the restaurant. However, if the manager neglects to ask what would remedy the situation, feel free to let him know what kind of resolution you expect anyway.
If you’ve given the manager an opportunity to fix the scenario and he doesn’t, approach him again. Let him know that you’re not satisfied with the experience. Something like–and remember to be polite when doing this,–“We were not treated very well today. We come here a lot, but if you’d have told me beforehand that we were going to have service like this, we would have gone elsewhere, and that’s the truth.” At this point, the manager really has no choice but to ask you what she can do to make you happy, especially if it’s a place you frequent.
What Do You Do When the Manager is Part of the Problem?
But what if the manager becomes part of the problem? There are times when the manager will be just as big a hack as his employees. When you run into this guy who would rather defend his employee than the business, politely request contact information for the corporate office or the owners. Few owners will jeopardize their business for their pride. Most successful business owners learn early that pride grows back very quickly, business does not. After you have the supervisor’s contact information, send a nice note/email/phone call to them recounting the situation. I’d wager that you can expect quick satisfaction afterwards. But should you not receive any form of apology, drop the issue and drop the restaurant from your list.
Whether you’re in a restaurant, an auto shop, or an electronics retailer, you will run into customer service situations like these. Sometimes they will be pleasant and other times they will be very trying. If you remember these tools above, you can navigate any customer service situation easily, giving praise where it is due and reprimands when necessary.
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life. I look forward to behaviorally modifying you again next week!
And thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest writing this episode. You can learn more about Colin and the guys at The MannersCast by visiting https://www.mannerscast.com.
Transcripts of this show can be found at manners.quickanddirtytips.com where you can also find a link to my Facebook page. Stop by, become a fan, and join in the discussions! If you would have any comments or questions, please email manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or leave a voicemail at (206) 666-4MRM.
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