How to Be a Good Holiday Houseguest
Make sure you’re the best guest during the holiday season.
For many of us the holiday season means traveling to see family and friends. This is a potentially stressful time of year– and by “potentially” I mean “absolutely”. Should you find yourself on someone else’s futon or hide-a-bed now (or any time of year), I would like you to keep some things in mind that will help relieve any extra pressure your host might feel during your stay.
How to Be a Good Houseguest
As far as being a guest in someone’s home, the very first thing to mention is the need for proper planning; there are two sides to this coin. Try not to just show up unannounced. There are people in the world who are thrilled when friends and family just happen to drop by, but their joy might be followed by anxiety if you and your four kids show up for the week instead of a little visit.
The other side of the coin is not showing up after saying you would. When making plans with your host to visit them for an extended time, you should do everything in your power to stick to the plan. It will disrupt their holiday flow if you tell them you are coming only to skip out. A lot of preplanning goes into hosting someone. Frustration is the likely outcome if your potential host spends time preparing for you when they could have been taking care of other pressing matters. If something unexpected comes up and you can’t go, make sure to call as soon as you come to that decision. Your host will still likely be disappointed, but your early notice and sincere apology will clear the air a little more quickly than just not showing up.
Things You Shouldn’t Do as a Houseguest
No matter how often you are told to make yourself at home do not actually make yourself at home.
Once you have made the trip and are welcomed in as a guest, there is a very important rule to remember: No matter how often you are told to make yourself at home, do not actually make yourself at home. It is not your house, your fridge, your TV, or your thermostat. Always ask before getting something out of the refrigerator. Always ask before changing the channel on the television. Ask. Ask. Ask. And every request should be made with humility and respect.
If your host seems to keep the temperature in their home a little colder than you are accustomed to, please do not complain. Your host should certainly be making an effort to keep you comfortable, but you are not the one who should remind them of that. You may request more blankets or even ask for a few more degrees on the thermostat, but passively throwing out comments like “Wow. Are we expecting snow in here?” or “Are we sleeping in the penguins’ room?” will not endear you to your host. That will embarrass only them.
One more thing to remember here is to keep a lid on negative talk. If you’re staying with an old debate team buddy, you may relax this rule a little. However, being argumentative and snide–or only talking about the horrors of society–can make your host wish you never showed up. And that is not how you show appreciation for all your host has done to make you feel welcome.
Things You SHOULD Do as a Houseguest
So those are things you shouldn’t do. What kind of things SHOULD you be doing as a houseguest? Maintain a really small footprint. I mention the idea of your “footprint” a lot. I’m not talking about your actual footprint. I’m referring to the amount of space you take up. You should certainly try to maintain some order in the areas you’ve been assigned, but some things are not negotiable. Things like spreading out a newspaper and forgetting to clean it up or lying down on the sofa when others might need somewhere to sit are definitely out of bounds. If you make a mess in the kitchen or track dirt inside, you are increasing the size of your footprint. Even if you don’t realize you are doing these things, your ever-growing footprint will start to make your host uncomfortable.
Lastly, pitch in! I talked about this in the at least one other quick and dirty tip. That should alert you to the importance of this. The holidays can be stressful. Having people at your home, even ones that you like, can be stressful. So I shouldn’t have to mention that you need to help when you can. Picking up after yourself is a great place to start, but assisting with chores, helping in the kitchen, entertaining the kids, and even doing handy work are all ways to help out. If you can’t find something, ask. Your participation in the fun and the work will make your visit legendary.
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