How to Handle Texting Snafus
You just had to send that text ASAP, didn’t you? It couldn’t wait.. But now you’ve realized that you texted an amorous message to your boss, or your grandmother. You can’t go back in time to erase it. But you can prevent future texting snafus. Here’s how.
I have never understood how texting became so popular. It’s like a devolution of communication. When people could only write letters to each other, they used to say, “I wish there was a way I could talk to someone far away whenever I want.” Then the phone came along and took care of that. Just over a century later came texting, which involves using a phone but without actually talking into it. Anyone else see the ?
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The popularity of texting has made its use so casual, that the true meaning of your text has gone away. We hardly even use words in our texts anymore, only emoticons. It’s become a much faster way of , too, rather than having to tell them something unpleasant to their face. And to top it all off, people have resorted to texting wherever, whenever they wish – like in the car, while driving, on a highway, using just their knees to steer. Yikes!
An naturally, since we are now texting all the time, everywhere, there is a far greater chance to messing up and sending a totally inappropriate text message to someone who won’t think it’s funny. So before you cause an embarrassing situation, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for properly handling (and preventing) a texting snafu:
Tip #1: The Angry Text Snafu
How many times have you said to yourself, “I am going to tell them exactly what I think of them!” then, when you see that person, you back down? Don’t lie. We’ve all done it. So you think, “Well, I’ll just text them my feelings!” Then, you hit the caps lock button and off you go, telling the person “like it is.”
This happened to my friend Drew. His cousin promised to pick him up from the airport. When Drew arrived, he called his cousin and got voicemail. He waited half an hour and called again. No response. Waited some more. Still nothing. Suddenly his phone bleeped and he saw a text message from his cousin. It said that he was sorry but he met a girl at a bar during and lost track of time. Furious at his rude cousin, Drew hailed a cab and on his way home, proceeded to send 11 angry texts – in a row – expressing his true feelings of being neglected. Was he right? Well, yes…and no. Yes, he should have been upset for being ditched. However, was an 11-text rant really the proper, adult thing to do?
Some of you are saying, “Sure it was! His cousin is a jerk!” Whereas others are probably saying, “Yeah he’s a jerk…but 11 hate-filled texts?” I hear both sides – but have to side with the latter of the two choices. Sending a rant-filled text is a major snafu and highly improper. I’m not against sending a stern text that expresses your feelings but it has to be intelligible and remain composed. Plus, one will do. Not two, not three, and certainly not 11! I mean how many times does a person have to read your colorful selection of expletives before they understand how upset you are?
Emotions are hard to contain and texting is immediately gratifying. But that’s when texting gets out of control. It’s improper to rant in a text and hide behind the luxury of not having to say what’s on your mind to someone’s face. When you feel so enraged you have to curse via text, step back, think about it, and then write a single stern text making your point concisely.
Leave out the curses, leave out the caps, and don’t tell them where they can go. A good practice is to type out everything you want to say, curses and all, then delete it asap (make sure that the “To” line of your cell phone remains blank so you don’t accidentally hit Send). Get your feelings out then go back and figure out how to say what you want without sounding like a freaked out high schooler (no offense to high schoolers, but you do tend to freak out a lot).
Tip #2: The Wrong Sender Snafu
I have over 500 names in my smartphone directory. And, of course I have more than one person named John, Matt, Mike, Rachel, and Ken, in my directory. So when I go to text someone, I have to make sure I select the right person’s name. Even though I see their name right there and know that Ken A., is different from Ken H., I still wonder after sending it if it went to the right Ken. Maybe that’s but hey, for thissituation it works for me. The last thing I would ever want is send the wrong person something that made no sense, was not that funny to them, or was personal news not meant for them. I can’t tell you how many times readers and listeners have emailed me stories about sending a text that is very, shall we say romantic, but ends up not making it to their special someone. A classic texting snafu!
There are two quick solutions for this. For one, always double check the name of the person you are sending the text to (and if you have several numbers for a given person, check to make sure your message is going to the right one – no sending personal stuff to work phones!). I know this sounds super easy, but how many times do you start to type in their name, then have the phone finish the name for you, and assume it’s the intended, “Steve” or “Kathy”? Most of you will say, “I always read the name before sending a text” but really, do you? Texting is often rushed and when you are in a hurry, you tend to forget little details. The result is sending the wrong message to the wrong person. Never trust your phone to complete the name for you. Always double check. Technology does not care who gets your message, just that someone does.
Secondly, I advocate the “3-Second Rule.” After composing a text, read it over, and count to 3. By doing this, you give yourself a few extra seconds to analyze exactly who is getting it and what you’re saying. Sure, 3 seconds is not a long time, but those extra moments, devoted to looking over what you wrote, will save you a lot of trouble having to explain to your mom why she got a text saying, “I can’t wait until tonight! XOXOX!”
Tip #3: The Texting While Driving Snafu
Hands down the dumbest thing you can do, next to sticking your hand into a piranha tank, is texting while driving. Nothing, I mean nothing, is that important. Don’t tell me you are such a good texter that you can handle a 4,000-pound vehicle, going 65 miles per hour, on a winding road, with one hand, while your other hand types on a keyboard with keys smaller than an 8-point font. You’re kidding yourself. There are only two things that can eventually happen as a result:
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You crash your car, potentially hurting yourself or someone else.
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You send a text that’s not even remotely correct.
Let’s look at the non-death example, since if you do crash your car due to texting, you will probably lose your license or your car, so this won’t be an issue for you anymore.
I’ll admit I have texted while in bumper-to-bumper traffic when I’m not moving at all, or at a long red light. But even that made me feel like a jerk. It took only one instance of other drivers honking at me when the light turned green while I sat there obliviously texting to realize how inconsiderate it is to everyone around me. Needless to say, I don’t do it anymore. So texting while on the move is beyond idiotic.
There are two simple solutions for when you need to text while driving: pull over or wait until you are parked. Done. Need I go on? Okay, I will. If a text is so important that it requires your immediate attention, then you have to pull over and respond. In this case, wherever you’re going can wait. If it’s not life or death, then your response can wait until you get to your destination. You have to be very egotistical to think that your funny joke is so hilarious that you have to share it right away, no matter how it can affect others around you. If it’s someone you have to connect with immediately, here’s a wild thought…call them (using your hands-free device, of course)! Who’da thunk a phone could do that too?
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Do you have a great story about a texting snafu you committed or witnessed? Post all the details in the comment section of the Modern Manners Guy web site or on the .
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at create new email. Follow me on Twitter , and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
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