How to Not Be Annoying
Do you know That Guy? Or are you That Guy?
Trent Armstrong
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How to Not Be Annoying
Are You Annoying?
Are You Annoying?Everyone knows That Guy. You know who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the individual who clearly has no sense of self awareness. Someone who makes you wish you were a worse person so you could tell them off and not feel guilty about it. The person that makes you feel embarrassed in a crowded restaurant, the person who interrupts you while you’re trying to work, the person who constantly arranges for you to do things with them even though you’ve expressed no desire and have turned them down repeatedly … that’s That Guy. Ooooooh we hate That Guy! That Guy doesn’t have to be a guy at all–That Guy can be a girl, but she’s still, That Guy.
Now, if through my ranting, you were unable to identify a That Guy in your life, I may have some tough news for you and maybe you should sit down … Go ahead.
Pay Attention to Fake Laughter
We all have tendencies, behaviors or outright performances that are irritating to other people. I may be wrong, but I think one of the best things that a person can do is learn to recognize a fake laugh when you hear one — believe me, you can only get so much fake laughter from a pack of Hell’s Angels before it’s your bacon. It’s been a long time, but I’ll see if I can paraphrase the lesson taught by the father in the children’s book, Bedtime for Frances. I believe it went something like, “The first time is funny, the second time is annoying and the third time is a spanking.” These, my friends, are words to live by.
Don’t Be Too Friendly
Also, believe it or not, it is possible to be too friendly. I think a general rule to be observed is to only be as friendly as is reciprocated to you. You cannot force someone to be your friend — and excessive kindness can be annoying because the person to whom you’re being kind can feel that they now owe you, which isn’t a good start to a friendship. I only know of a few friendships that began as resentment. I certainly don’t mean that you should never go out on a limb and try to befriend people; you just need to be aware of how that person is receiving you.
Try Not to Get So Annoyed
It’s easy to blame That Guy for being some kind of twisted freak of nature who is creating his own trouble and deserves exactly what he gets. That is really easy … and fun! But if we really do believe that, then what is that nagging pang of guilt we feel every time this person gets on our nerves?
The real problem is that we’re both at fault. Make no mistake, the person being annoying is indeed being annoying — no contesting that — but the question we all need to ask ourselves is, “am I doing my best to understand where this person is coming from?”
Once we take some time and try to put ourselves in that person’s place, maybe we’ll be able to understand the situation a little better and not become so terribly annoyed.
Thanks for That, Dr. Phil, Now You’re Getting on My Nerves
Okay, so now that we’ve become one with ourselves, the big question is, “How do I make this guy stop!?”
I think the best thing to do with people who are annoying you (and aren’t going anywhere), is to meet them in the middle. Make a sincere effort to find the best in this person. Remember that, in some cases, people that we find personally annoying find us personally interesting, so feel free to talk about yourself, maybe seek a common interest and start there. Maybe you will grow to like this person more than you thought you ever would aaaannnnnddd maybe you won’t but at least you’ll have found something to appreciate in this person that will take some of the sting off. Or maybe — just maybe — you will realize that you’re That Guy and take the appropriate steps to move out of that role.
Whatever happens, we should all remember that we’re in this together. If we can do that, we just might learn to stay off each other’s nerves.
Administrative
Thanks for listening to another episode of The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life. I hope you’ve found it helpful, but not too helpful.
Thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest writing this episode. Find out more about Colin and the guys of The MannersCast by visiting https://www.mannerscast.com.
For a transcript of this podcast, visit manners.quickanddirtytips.com. Please send your questions or comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or leave a voicemail at 206-666-4MRM.