How to Properly Split the Bill
Know what to do when asked to pay more than you owe.
Richie Frieman
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How to Properly Split the Bill
One of my very first Modern Manners Guy articles asked the question, “Can You Bring Kids To Restaurants?” In this article I’m going to take us back to the dining issues… but with adults. Recently I was at a dinner with three other friends and had a great time–until the bill came. Someone chimed in, “Okay, let’s split it four ways,” and I was a little surprised since there were many drinks and appetizers ordered, just not by me. Now, I’m not trying to be cheap here, but I wouldn’t expect or ask someone else to pay for my five drinks! Seems logical, right?
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How to Properly Split the Bill At a Restaurant
If you go out and everyone orders pretty much the same thing, it’s no big deal to split the bill evenly. I’m not going to argue if I pay a few extra bucks–and I’m often the one to open my wallet when it comes to settling any “bill debates.”
However, when I’ve gone out with a group of people and others have ordered significantly more than me, I’m talking three drinks when I had none, then I’m not OK with splitting the bill. It’s unfair and downright impolite to have others subsidize your meal. Unless it’s a special occasion and I’m treating you or hosting the dinner, I don’t want to be responsible for your drinks or food.
So here are my top three tips for how properly handle splitting the bill with etiquette and good judgment.
Tip #1: Don’t Assume Everyone Is ALL In
At a friend’s birthday, the waitress asked whether we wanted to start off with some appetizers, and one guest–without asking others–started to ramble off a list for the table. I think he ordered the entire appetizer menu and topped it off with a bottle of wine to boot. I was stunned since no one had even talked about ordering appetizers, let alone a bottle of wine. Yes it was our friend’s birthday and the plan was to split the bill evenly (including treating the birthday boy), but that didn’t give this guy license to decide what was being ordered—and what we were all spending.
It’s OK to order for the group—but only if you’ve asked them first. Not everyone has the same tastes, the same diets, and of course the same bank accounts. If you are going to order for everyone, you better be planning on paying for them too.
If you’re ever in this situation when someone makes the ordering—and spending—decision for you, you should try a little humor to prove your point. While looking at the bill, say something like, “Okay cool, so you ate and drank that, so I’ll pay for it. But how about you swing by and take care of that whole car bill for me. I know, I know you didn’t order it but, then again it did help bring me here tonight, so in a way…”
Tip #2: Keep Track of What You Ordered
When I go out, I like to GO OUT. It’s always fun to go to a restaurant, sit back, and taste some great dishes. Yes, you want to fiscally responsible, but as long as you keep track of what you ordered, you won’t be surprised when the bill comes. Of course, it’s not that easy when others order a lot more and expect the bill to be split evenly.
But keeping track of what you ordered can help you when it comes to paying. If you know you’ve only spent $25 but the bill-splitter is telling you that you owe $75; play dumb. Ask, “Geez, how can that be when my entrée was $20 and I didn’t have any drinks or appetizers? Are you sure the bill is right?” At that point Joe Order the Whole Menu will be forced to rethink his bill-splitting strategy.
Tip #3: Know When to Say Something
We’ve already talked about how to handle a few common scenarios that have you paying more than your fair share, but there are certain times when it’s polite to just let it go.
If the discrepancy between what you ordered and what you owe is a small amount—say, less than five dollars—then you should just let it go. In the end, having to divide up that little amount will just be a hassle and in the end, looks like a waste of time. Now, if the bill is for a coffee and you’re paying a few bucks more… then, that is different.
However, when the bill definitely tips more towards your way, you have to really say something. I’ve always found that the people who do this, have done it more than once. One thing to do is to look at the check and do your own math. Try something like, “Really? I think that yours is about ten dollars more. I’ll put in X amount.” Don’t wait for the reply, start to put your money down. They’ll see what they did and notice it. This way, you are making a firm stand that this will not happen again.
Do you have a great story about any improper restaurant bill splitting you experienced? Post them on my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page so we can all hear the details. As always, if you have another manners question, I’m look forward to hearing from you so drop me a line at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. As well, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips.
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