How to Tell Someone They Have Food In Their Teeth
Telling someone they have broccoli in their teeth might be uncomfortable, but it’s the polite thing to do. Get tips on the mannerly way to do so.
Trent Armstrong
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How to Tell Someone They Have Food In Their Teeth
It happens to all of us. You can just be minding your own business when a sneaky drop of mustard leaps onto your tie or your blouse. But the embarrassment doesn’t stop there. Can you remember the last time you noticed someone with a big old piece of spinach in their teeth, but you didn’t tell them?? Did you feel bad about it the rest of the day? Well, I say, “No more!” We shouldn’t have to live as victims of our own sloppiness when we have an entire human race around us that can do something about it!
Your charge is as follows: When you notice that someone has something unintentional happening with their appearance, you must do something about it.
Should You Tell Someone They Have Food in Their Teeth?
I feel like I need to take a moment here to qualify your part in this. This is not a license to tell your friends (or anyone else for that matter) that you simply disapprove of their outfit, hairstyle, etc. These instructions are for when you notice food, sauce, or dirt on someone, or a clothing malfunction you are sure would embarrass that person if they knew about it.
Once you notice a person’s tag is hanging out, or they have something hanging out of their nose, say something. Don’t think about it. Don’t show someone else. Go to your friend and tell them! Sometimes you have to put your own embarrassment aside. Don’t worry what he or she will think about you. Instead, consider how that person will feel when they arrive home after a long day at work only to find a long ink streak across their face. That kind of revelation might be followed by a sick day taken for emotional recovery. Of course, I’m being lightly facetious about the sick day, but that thought is sure to at least cross your friend’s mind.
How to Tell Someone They Have Food in Their Teeth
Now, you don’t need to bring this up in a public way. It’s best to whisper a little “Come with me for a second” and then lead them away from any possible onlookers. Then quietly say something like, “I wanted to tell you this as soon as I noticed: You have a bit of ink on your chin. I can cover for you while you go take care of it.” Always keep this kind of interaction light and use a sort of I’ve-got-your-back tone in your voice. Then, once they overcome the issue, just act like nothing was ever the matter. Keeping your level of anxiety to a minimum will help your friend manage his or her anxiety in like fashion.
If you’re at a crowded table and not able to move away without causing a Spanish Inquisition, try to catch your friend’s eye and do a little pantomime to indicate what the issue is. And keep in mind that when you are working to be secretive about this kind of thing, you are entering into a sort of spontaneous us-against-the-world contract. You become teammates with the common goal of solving the problem secretly. Be super encouraging when your new teammate accomplishes the goal, but, again, move on like nothing ever happened. Your friend will remember the event but, more than likely, will remember it with a sense of gratitude instead of anxiety.
How to Tell a Stranger Something is Wrong With Their Appearance
What if you notice an issue but the person is a stranger? Many of the same principles apply! Be careful about asking the person to move away from the crowd with you as that can be seen as monstrously creepy. Try to be discrete without encroaching too far into the other person’s space, but still make sure you deal with the situation. If someone has a goofy collar, pat them lightly on the shoulder and offer a quick “excuse me.” Once you have their attention, say something like, “Your collar is turned up a little.” I also think it’s reasonable to offer to fix said collar depending on how the person reacts to you pointing it out. The reason I feel this way is that they didn’t fix their collar right in the first place which means they might not be able to get it right away when you point it out. If it seems like they are hugely grateful and don’t move awkwardly away, say, “May I help you fix it?” Be prepared for them to say no, but if they don’t, lend a quick hand and then give an encouraging smile and move away.
Always Be Polite
Helping a stranger out like this does not make them your new best friend. Quickly removing yourself from the situation once it has been resolved is another kind way for you to remove some of the embarrassment. Lingering would just make things more awkward. Sticking around to make jokes about it would make you look like a weirdo. Graciously sneak away like a mannerly superhero that just saved the day.
Of course you should be careful when pointing out sensitive things but don’t be afraid to do so because of your own embarrassment. I boarded an elevator with a woman at my building the other day and happened to notice that she missed a button on her blouse. That was extremely uncomfortable for me, but I knew that she was soon to enter her place of business and would certainly be mortified to know she had walked around the office like that. So I told her. I looked at her eyes and said, “This is a little awkward, but you have missed a button.” She made an “oops” kind of noise, turned away, and fixed her button. Then when she turned around, she thanked me. I told her she was welcome and then changed the subject to something lighter. I certainly was a little nervous, but she was terribly grateful. The whole exchange was over in about 10 sec, and we each felt a little better about the world.
Summary
When you notice something awkwardly stuck to a friend or stranger– on their clothes, their hair or teeth– don’t save the moment for yourself and use it as a funny story later. Do something about it! It might seem a little awkward at the time, but you’ll be saving your fellow human from greater embarrassment.
Thank you for joining me for this installment of The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
This weeks marks the fifty second episode of the House Call Doctor’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Taking Charge of Your Health podcast. Celebrate one year of good health advice from Dr. Rob Lamberts by checking out his latest special mystery diagnosis episode and learn how doctor’s solve and treat tough cases. You can congratulate Dr. Rob on the one year anniversary of his show over on his Facebook wall.
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Food in Teeth image courtesy of Shutterstock