Disordered Eating: 9 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship with Food
This week, the Savvy Psychologist reveals 9 signs of disordered eating so prevalent they pass as “normal”–plus 4 tips on how to improve your relationship with food, and your body.
Disordered eating–the less serious, but much more common version of an eating disorder–is an unhealthy, obsessive relationship with food. Disordered eating is so common that it’s arguably, and unfortunately, “normal.”
While 10% of Americans will experience a full-blown eating disorder at some point in their lives, a 2009 national survey of over 4,000 women ages 25-45 found that 65%—that’s right, almost two-thirds—struggle with disordered eating. And men aren’t immune either, especially as unrealistic male body standards become more entrenched in the media and our culture.
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What’s the Difference Detween an Eating Disorder and Disordered Eating?
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In a nutshell, disordered eating is an unhealthy, obsessive relationship with food and weight. Disordered eating is, no pun intended, the “lite” version of an eating disorder. Some of the same behaviors occur as in eating disorders, but to a lesser degree.
And while disordered eating isn’t a diagnosable disorder, it does place one at risk for a full-blown eating disorder—disordered eating as gateway behaviors, as it were.
Plus, disordered eating often goes along with depression and anxiety—it’s really hard to hate your body, deny yourself food, and not feel anxious, worthless, or less-than.
So this week, here are 9 signs of disordered eating. Again, it’s all on a spectrum. But if you decide your relationship with food could use a tune-up, rest assured you’re in good company—and listen on to the end for 4 tips on what to do next.
Disordered Eating Sign #1: Black and White Thinking About Food
You think of foods as either all “good” or all “bad,” and you’ve accordingly cut out entire food groups, like carbs or fat, because you worry they’ll make you fat. Or, you might skip a meal, like breakfast, to save the calories. Finally, you only eat foods you’ve vetted or know the caloric content of.
Disordered Eating Sign #2: The Perma-Diet
You’re basically on a permanent diet, or at least dieting more often than not. As a result, your weight yo-yos accordingly, and as a result of all the deprivation, sometimes you lose it and binge.
You’re certainly not alone: a national survey of over 70,000 people found that 38% of women and 24% of men were currently trying to lose weight. And it starts early, not just after a desk job and a couple of kids: 53% of high school girls and 43% of high school boys were either trying to lose or gain weight.
Disordered Eating Sign #3: The Tyranny of the Scale
You weigh yourself daily or several times a day, and the resulting number on the scale impacts your mood or sense of worth. If you can’t weigh yourself, like when staying at a hotel, you feel anxious, and if you gain a pound, you feel really anxious.
Disordered Eating Sign #4: Rigid Exercise
You have a set-in-stone exercise routine, and when you can’t follow it, you get stressed. You may exercise even when you’re sick, exhausted, or injured. Your exercises are strategically chosen based on how many calories they burn. Likewise, when you exercise, you measure by calories; for example, you might run on a treadmill until you’ve burned your “required” number of calories, or have “compensated” for eating a dessert.
Disordered Eating Sign #5: The Mental Screen Saver
You think about food all the time. Food or weight is your “mental screen saver”—what you think about by default, when you’re not distracted by something else. And planning, obtaining, preparing, or consuming food takes up a lot of your time, and makes you anxious.
Disordered Eating Sign #6: Mismatch Between Weight, Shape, and Perceptions
Your weight falls within a healthy, or even an underweight, range, but you think you’re too fat. Thinking about your thighs, stomach, or another body part has the power to send your mood plummeting.
Disordered Eating Sign #7: Strategic Substitutions
You eat lots of non-caloric foods like diet drinks, sugar-free Jell-O, gum, tea, coffee, or ice to try to save calories. In addition, you might use caffeine—or smoke—as an appetite suppressant.
Disordered Eating Sign #8: Public Versus Private
You might eat like a bird in public, and then pig out at home or in your car. You might avoid eating out so you can control your eating, or you may get anxious about social situations where there is food, like a potluck, picnic, or party.
Disordered Eating Sign #9: Emotional Eating
Disordered Eating Sign #9: Emotional EatingYou eat to procrastinate, to entertain yourself when you’re bored, to reward yourself, to console yourself when you’re sad, or otherwise connect food with emotion. And you have one emotion in spades: guilt. You feel super guilty when you eat something “forbidden,” or lose control when eating.
So there we have 9 signs. Now what? Indeed, even if disordered eating is “normal,” why be normal? We can do better, and be happier and healthier for it. I’ll let Nutrition Diva’s fabulous wisdom help you with eating real food and listening to your body.
In the meantime, though, let’s chip away at one of the biggest drivers of disordered eating: poor body image. Notice I said body image, not actual body weight or shape.
Better Body Image Tip #1: Think of Your Heroes
Think of the people who you admire. Perhaps those who have mentored or inspired you, or who have simply made your world a better place. They might be famous or perfectly ordinary. Now, think about whether their weight or body shape was an important part of their impact on you (and their overall awesomeness). Bring these people to mind for a quick shot of perspective when you feel your body image sinking.
Better Body Image Tip #2: Make This Your Mantra: “Life is Too Short to Hate Myself”
Go deeper and ask how it’s benefitting you to focus on your thighs, agonize over that extra pound, or drill yourself through 20 extra minutes on the treadmill because you looked at a doughnut.
Better Body Image Tip #3: Think of Your Body as a Person
Think of your body as a friend—someone who isn’t perfect, but is loyal, hardworking, and generous to you. How would you treat that friend? Would you starve her, hate her, disguise her with clothes she doesn’t even like, and criticize her smallest flaws? My hunch is no. It gets a little trippy to think about yourself in the third person, but you get my point. Treat yourself as you would anyone else: with respect.
Better Body Image Tip #4: Consider Talking to Someone
If you recognized yourself in the 9 signs, you may be tempted to seek out some professional guidance. Consider talking to a therapist, coach, or a nutritionist who either specializes in eating disorders, or partners with a mental health professional.
Notably, individuals with disordered eating often turn to a nutritionist for help. However, chances are the problem lies not with your diet, but with your emotions, body image, or self-confidence. If the thought of seeing a therapist leaves you colder than a Skinny Cow fudge pop, or therapy seems too expensive, check out 5 Therapy Myths and Fears Busted from the Savvy Psychologist archives.
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References
Reba-Harrelson, L., Von Holle, A., Hamer, R.M., Swann, R., & Bulik, C.M. (2009). Patterns and prevalence of disordered eating and weight control behaviors in women ages 25-45. Eating and Weight Disorders, 14, 190-8.
Serdula, M.K., Collins, M.E., Williamson, D.F., Anda, R.F., Pamuk, E., & Byers, T.E. (1993). Weight control practices of U.S. adolescents and adults. Annals of Internal Medicine, 119 (7 Pt 2), 667-71.
Photos of eating disorder word cloud, woman chained to scale, and body image disorder courtesy of Shutterstock.
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About the Author
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen was the host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast from 2014 to 2019. She is a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD). She earned her Ph.D. at UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach is regularly featured in Psychology Today, Scientific American, The Huffington Post, and many other media outlets. Her debut book, HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, was published in March 2018.
