Know Your Opponent’s Position to Negotiate Successfully
Learn how to understand the position of both parties in a negotiation.
Today’s topic is negotiating. The quick and dirty tip is to take the time to understand the other party’s point of view and motivation when negotiating.
This morning, someone decided they wanted my domain. This seems to happen to me once every few years, which suggests I have fabulous taste in domain names. If you’re looking for a domain for your new company, just ask me. I’ll come up with a name so desirable that you’ll spend the rest of your natural life in court defending yourself against domain thieves whose claws drip green with jealousy.
This guy was a real piece of work. He emailed telling me he wanted to buy the domain I use for my company’s internal intranet. I said, “Not for sale. It’s my intranet domain. If I were going to sell, it would be very expensive, since I’d have to revamp my whole company.” He replied that it obviously wasn’t in use by my company because there was no website there, and I shouldn’t use such a dishonest negotiating tactic to justify asking for such a high price, and what is my real price, anyway?
Wow. What a great way to start a negotiation: Approach someone who has what you want. Ask them to propose a price instead of offering one, then call them a liar when they say they’re not interested in selling. How much do you want to bet this guy’s single? Here’s him on a typical Saturday night: “Hey baby, my name’s … Stud. You’re pretty hot. And even though I’m sure you’re wearing tinted contacts, fake hair, and plastic surgery ‘augmentation,’ I’m willing to let you date me.” Sheesh.
Consider Their Point of View
When you’re going to romance anyone, think about things from their point of view first.
What are they seeing when you walk in the room? Is what they’re seeing attractive? And we’re talking more than just visually. We’ve all had someone walk into a meeting and spend an hour demonstrating how friggin’ smart they are. They hear brilliance pouring forth from their lips. The rest of us just hear a stream. A babbling stream. In fact, drop the stream. We just hear babbling. Make sure your first impression is positive.
Know Their Motivation
And if you’re going to ask for something, take the time to find out what motivates that person. Then make your offer tap into their motivation. Let’s say you want Donald Trump to give you his hairpiece (Yes, I know, it’s his real hair. Sure it is). Don’t demand it; think. What could possibly motivate a man who erects tall, skyscrapers that thrust above Manhattan with his name circling the tip? You might say, “Gee, Donald, did you know that bald men are so much more virile, manly, and attractive to women? For a modest fee, I’ll be happy to hold your hairpiece while you go out and talk to that supermodel.” He gets the supermodel and you get paid to hold his hair. It’s win-win all around.
Use “No” to Ask for More Information
If they still say “No,” don’t attack. You have nothing to lose by asking them how you’re falling short. Donald says, “No, I won’t give up my hairpiece.” Say, “OK. Is there anything that could convince you?” Maybe he’ll say, “Well, actually, I’ve always wanted a fire truck.” Maybe you have a fire truck. If so, you can reopen negotiations by saying, “Actually, Don, I have a fire truck…”
Negotiations Are Everywhere
In case you’re thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me. I already have my own hairpiece,” think again. This applies to any negotiation. Are you trying to get your team to accept your ideas? Make sure you’re coming across as someone they want to listen to. Make your ideas relevant to their motivation. Does your teenager want a new computer? Stop and remember what it was like to be a teenager. Everything was a matter of life or death. Teen angst was just a heartbeat away. Approach the negotiation that way: “No, you can’t have a new computer. And if you ask one more time, I’ll make you get a conservative haircut.” They’ll be so angst-ridden at the thought of looking like Beaver Cleaver that they’ll wander upstairs and do their homework.
So now, I’m off. My inbox is beeping. Maybe it’s a counter-offer from my new friend. Hmm… Let’s see here. He says, “I understand you don’t want to sell me your domain, but would you be interested in a new hairpiece…” Ooh! Now he’s got my interest.
This is Stever Robbins. leave questions by phone at 866-WRK-LESS or by email at getitdone@quickanddirtytips.com.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
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